Birthday Parties

Last night there was a birthday party held for all the kids whose birthdays were during the months of September, October, and November of last year. There were about 60 kids in all. It had all the traditional touches: balloons, a special dinner, cake and music. Each child received a gift and took an official picture to document another year of life.

As a I watched the celebration from afar, it provided a moment of perspective. Like a lot of things in life there is a delicate balance of emotional involvement. When I was working at the Rehab Institute of Chicago, people would say, "It must tear you apart to work with people whose lives have been drastically changed by car accidents, fires, 'surgeries gone wrong', terminal cancer." I would always answer by saying that I only knew my patients as they were in their injured state and it was my job to help them achieve a greater level of independence. I took this approach partly as a way of being a professional clinician and partly as a method of emotional sustainability. But there were times when I would a see a picture of a patient before their injury, hear a story from a family member, or get the news that a former patient had died and I would be forced to take in the depth of their loss.

As I encounter the kids here in masses on a daily basis, it's easy to simply survive by identifying them by age groups, personalities, or injuries. But seeing a group of them share their birthdays with 59 other kids several months after their birthday reminded me that these children have not lived normal lives. It was one of those moments when I was forced to put things in perspective and feel their loss. I was reminded of the individual stories each child brings and the harsh realities most have known; often dealth, abuse, poverty or all of the above. A bit of an ironic revelation in the midst of a party.